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Traumatising baby products

Posted by luke | Posted in Inappropriate Kids Toys, Inappropriate Stuff For Kids, Toys | Posted on 05-05-2010

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Raising a baby is a tough gig. “Experts” declare at every turn that the wrong decisions on nutrition, napping or enrichment will render your child emotionally barren, homeless, sexually deviant and, worst of all, short. It’s no wonder child rearing products are such a huge industry.

The Zaky Infant Pillow will simulate your touch to soothe your child into rest, provided the baby is accustomed to being palmed by disembodied sausage-fingers.

This product, previously named My First Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Trainer , appears to be primarily designed to protect the baby’s head in the event of shark attack.

Pro: The whoopee cushion will inevitably self-inflate given enough time and a diet rich in legumes

Con: The instant someone opts to sit on it the joke will take a horrible, strangely poetic turn

Find a full gallery of 20 such gems over at our friends cracked.com